As one popular love song goes, “there’s no easy way to break somebody’s heart”. That line is really true because in reality, nobody is really comfortable when they know that they are going to break up and will be breaking somebody else’s heart.
Most people would even say that inflicting physical pain to another person is easier than having to inflict emotional pain to someone else. Although love relationships may have the happiest and most romantic love stories of all time, it also has a dark side; love relationships also offer the saddest and most heartbreaking situations of all time.
There’s no perfect relationship and in one time or another, there will come a point in your life when you have to take the initiative in having to end the relationship once and for all. You may have you own set of reasons but one thing’s for sure; there’s really no easy way to break somebody’s heart. If you think that you need some tips in breaking up with someone, this article is perfect for you.
Don’t Beat Around The Bush
1. When you are already decided that you want to get out of the relationship, be sure that you have a proper explanation as to why you want to get out of it. It’s not good to leave a person hanging and it’s even worse to just leave them without even saying goodbye.
2. Keep in mind that the person that you are planning to leave has been a part of your life and they deserve some respect from you, even if you are already planning to leave them and get on with your new life.
3. Another thing to remember is that you have to be honest. Don’t make up excuses that are far from the truth because that would only complicate things in the future. It’s better to tell the truth because at least, once it’s all over, both of you can move on without any questions waiting to be answered.
4. If you’re afraid that telling the truth might hurt your partner, tell yourself that truth really hurts and your partner deserves to know the truth and nothing less but the truth. If you got tired of him or her because he or she was boring and annoying, tell him or her directly. Just don’t be rude in saying so because that would only add to the insult.
5. The advantage of telling the whole truth to your partner is so that they can work on their weaknesses and mistakes so that in the future, they won’t be faced with the same problems and their future partners won’t have to leave them because of the same reason.
Make Sure That There Is Proper Closure
6. When you break up with a person, don’t be a tease and don’t ever play with their feelings and emotions. Put in mind that the moment you break up with someone, his or her heart will be very vulnerable. Don’t be too nice and mushy because the person might think that you still have feelings for them and they might get the false hope that you might want to get back with them.
7. Directly tell your significant other that you are breaking up with him or her and then clearly state your reasons. Avoid laughing or smiling when you are stating your reasons; learn to be empathetic because you really wouldn’t enjoy it if someone was smiling while breaking up with you.
8. Finish and solve all your unresolved issues and do try to keep the break-up civil and friendly. Emphasize clearly yet nicely the need for both of you to move on and get on with each other’s lives. Do not sugar-coat your reasons because you will only end up not being able to get your point across as well as making your partner more confused than before.
9. Just keep it short and simple. Do not dawdle because that would only add to the anxiety of your partner. If you want, you can tell him or her that you can still be friends, but that’s about it.
10. Don’t forget to express your gratitude to your partner for the time that you spent together. Admit it, you shared some happy moments together and that’s worth expressing gratitude for.
Different people have different views when it comes to the idea of a romantic relationship. One clinical study stated that romantic love is basically one's unique emotional state of great calm, intense excitement, and improved well-being when the partner is present.
Sex is always part of a romantic relationship. The intimacy involved in the physical contact between you and your partner will determine the flow of the love relationship during your time together.
In any couple, being intimate in bed does not fall alone on the physical aspect. Instead, couples should also learn the importance of emotional, as well as psychological intimacy in their relationship.
What is Intimacy?
Intimacy is all about being emotionally and psychologically close and open to your partner. It is about getting your guard down and letting your partner know how you really feel. Intimacy is also about accepting and sharing in the feelings of your partner. It means being there when they need you, and to allow them to let their defences down.
What is Emotional Intimacy?
Emotional intimacy is closely associated with women more than men. Women believe that emotional intimacy is very rich and very fulfilling. For most, this does not replace a woman’s need for sex; instead, the need for emotional intimacy is as intense and as important as the physical need. Once that need is fulfilled by their partner and achieved through ‘talk time’, it is then easier for women to move quickly into a ‘sexual mode’.
What is Psychological Intimacy?
This is defined as one’s sense of openness in talking honestly with a partner about their personal thoughts and feelings that are normally not expressed in other relationships. Some factors that shape the quality of a psychological intimacy include major conflicts, conflict management styles of partners, and the couple’s expressions of their physical affection.
Emotional and psychological intimacy goes hand in hand. When you are in a romantic relationship, you rely on your partner for emotional as well as psychological support. It means that you give yourself fully to your partner and that you accept whatever he/she can offer in return. So what happens when intimacy problems happen? Here are some few things that you can do to help you set aside your fears.
Evaluate your relationship
When you are having intimacy problems with your partner, first decide whether the intimacy issues are general or specific. Talk to your partner if you have some issues that you both need to discuss.
Talk with your partner
Talk with your partner if you have intimacy problems, otherwise, you are not fit to be in any type of relationship. Keep in mind that a healthy and a committed relationship are based on trusting each other with your partner. If you have intimacy problems, explain what you feel with your partner. Nothing beats having a relationship built from honesty and openness.
See a therapist
Seeing a therapist to deal with your intimacy problems does not necessarily mean you are crazy. Instead, it is the best way to seek a professional’s point of view on their perspectives about intimacy. There are a lot of therapists that have dealt with problems about intimacy all throughout their careers. Seeking for a third-party advice with which you have no emotional connection is practical and beneficial.
Generally speaking, intimacy is not just a form of psychological fad, far from the cries of contemporary couples. Rather, it is based on a deeper biological need.
Intimacy is basically one’s journey in a relationship. You start out in a relationship sensing that you have discovered a new dimension of intimacy. As you go along, you start to discover that emotional and psychological intimacy plays very important roles to keeping a successful partnership. Once you have grasped the fact about how intimacy plays in your relationship, then you are bound for a more fulfilling and rewarding partnership that you have been long wishing for.
In a relationship, it is not unusual for couples to have conflicts that result in heated arguments and there is nothing wrong with this. Arguments, if observed at a positive angle, can actually be healthy for the relationship. But, just like everything else, too much of something is not good and can easily lead to relationships breaking up.
If you find yourself in a relationship that constantly struggles with conflicts and misunderstandings, there could be something wrong with how you and your partner communicate with each other. There is a way how to prevent this from happening and that is to improve how you communicate with your partner.
It all starts with determination and desire to stop relationships breaking up. You need to have the will and want to make the improvement. This will be the driving force that will push you to strive and do better amidst the ups and downs along the process of relationship improvement.
Listen To Your Partner
There are times when it seems that you are listening to your partner but in reality you are not. This is a very big problem common among couples. How will you be able to communicate back with him when you do not even know what your partner is talking about because you are not listening? When your partner is talking, listen and listen intently. Do not interrupt him or her, and reflect on what your partner is saying. By doing this, you will be then be able to communicate with him in the right way with the right words.It is also a good idea that when you communicate that you both speak from the heart and not in a confrontational way as this so often can lead to a misunderstanding of what is actually being said, and over a period of time run the relationship down which can then cause relationships breaking up. It is not only about what words your partner is using it is also the tonality in how you say things to each other which will have a huge impact on the outcome of your arguments.
Be In Your Partner's Shoes
Most of the time, individuals tend to want to be heard and understood. They want their points of view to be heard and seen and understood by their partners. When you do this, you are not letting your partner speak out what he or she thinks and feels. And by this, you lose the chance of knowing the right words to say to your partner, since conversations are only focused on yourself. It would be best to try and be in your partner's shoes so you would be able to appreciate his or her point of view.
Taking The Fall
It is very difficult to admit that you have made a mistake. In a relationship, it is of utmost importance to be aware that you are fallible and are bound to make mistakes. When these things happen, know you are at fault and learn to admit it. During these situations, there is nothing more effective than the words I am sorry and this is what I have learnt. It may not do so much in the beginning but you will see its effect in the long run, especially when delivered sincerely.
There are actually no specific words that can be considered as the right words to say. The right words all depend on who your partner is and his or her character. You will be able to spot the right words to say to your partner much easier if you follow the guidelines above and can save relationships breaking up.